Who are we?


Energy drives our modern lives. But what is energy? Isn’t it just flipping a switch and flushing imposters out of airlocks? Not on your life! It takes a group of dedicated agents to generate enough power to charge your phone, laptop, vibrator …. especially that vibrator, Grandma.

At The Energy Division, we administer energy policy and programs to serve the public interest and ensure compliance with our federal mandates. What does that mean? Nobody knows!

At The Energy Division, we believe every American deserves access to clean, cheap, and inconspicuous energy. Also a PS5. Without, there’d be darkness, global chaos, and dystopian anarchy.

Keeping the future BRIGHT requires a vigilant team. Our technicians work around the clock and sacrifice their lives over and over, over and over … just like Tom Cruise in that movie … to make sure Americans have constant access to renewable energy (and Tom Cruise). It’s actually a thing. And a job!

Open enrollment for The Energy Division Recruitment Program™ begins January 2021.

The Energy Division: We Keep the Lights On™.


Learn About The Energy Division
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The Energy Division is so much more than distribution transformers and nuclear fission reactors. It also runs an off-the-books intelligence organization.

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Why Join The Energy Division?
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Always wanted to travel beyond this world? Or let's face it, building that YouTube channel is harder than you thought, right? Let us light a new path for you.

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Authorized user accounts only. Guests without a login are NOT encouraged to snoop around even if agents are sloppy with their passwords.

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